The Random and Ridiculous
I’ve come to the conclusion over the years, that to survive in this world you have to have a healthy sense of humor about its foibles and ridiculousness. Here’s a few things I’ve found funny in the last week.
There are still political signs in people’s yards. Seriously? I mean, the election was four months ago! If your sign’s for Obama, well, people, he’s in office – get over yourselves! If your sign’s for McCain, um, he lost, it’s done, no changing it now. And, if you’re the one random person on Bethelehem Pike that still has a Hillary sign in your yard, give it up! She was out of the running almost a year ago!
On Tuesday, I went to IHOP to celebrate the National Day of Pancakes (and Fat Tuesday, of course) with a free short stack. There was a woman at a table near us who called over the waitress and informed her that the bacon she had was not turkey bacon, but was pork. The waitress assured her it was turkey, but when the woman wouldn’t believe, took it away and brought her new turkey bacon. A few minutes later one of the cooks came by and the woman caught his attention and asked him what brand the turkey bacon was, because it tasted like pork. Really? Isn’t the whole point of turkey bacon to taste like real bacon? So why are you complaining when it does?
Yesterday was Ash Wednesday. I’m pretty sure three quarters of the penitents went to Mass and then came to Starbucks afterward and stood in line for their lattes and mochas with ashen crosses marked on their foreheads. Here’s my question: if they came straight from Mass to Starbucks, what are they giving up for Lent?
This morning we had a customer tell us (as she ordered an apple fritter) that Starbucks food was horrible, because (and this is a direct quote), “I mean, even my dog will eat it.” Right, ’cause dogs have really discerning palates. She then proceeded to inform us that we should get our food from some bakery in downtown Philly which, “isn’t as good as it used to be because the new owner is all about profits and is cutting corners on making stuff.” Uh, so why would we want to get food there?
I have also concluded that I want to create a sitcom set in a coffee shop. That’s my new goal in life.
